


a truly remarkable appliance

by iamsiriusblackserious



Category: Supernatural
Genre: I honestly wrote this just after the s8 finale and haven't looked at it since, Infomercials, M/M, Pre-Slash, but I figured what the heck, it's kinda cute, the domestic!destiel we deserved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamsiriusblackserious/pseuds/iamsiriusblackserious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Cas, we don’t need another blender,” Dean told him in exasperation, walking further into the room until he was standing next to where Castiel was seated. “You’ve bought three in the past month. Three. No one needs more than one blender, man.”</p>
<p>What Dean had called “elevator music” but Castiel said was “calming and lovely” was playing over the connection now, and Castiel gave a pleased hum before retorting, “I'm not intending to purchase another blender, Dean. This microwave oven can cook an entire chicken in twenty minutes. All previous microwave ovens are unsatisfying in comparison.”</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>cas keeps buying stuff from infomercials and dean will no longer be his enabler. throwing the phone might've been taking it a step too far, though</p>
            </blockquote>





	a truly remarkable appliance

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few days after the s8 finale and posted it on tumblr, but I decided to put it on here as well, short as it is

 

“Cas, you have a problem.”

Looking up from the buttons he was carefully punching in on the phone, Castiel frowned at Dean and asked, “To what exactly are you referring, Dean? I have many problems.”

Dean rolled his eyes and pushed off the doorjamb he’d been leaning on for the past five minutes, watching the former angel squinting at the TV and muttering something about birds. “Understatement of the year, Cas, but I was talking about this weird obsession with infomercials.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Castiel peered closely at the television screen, then pressed the last number button in triumph.

Holding the phone up to his ear, he listened as it rang once, twice, before the call was picked up and a pleasant automated female voice thanked him for his call and asked him to please wait for a line to open. “Yes, I don't mind holding,” he told the voice, as always, even though every time he did so he could sense Dean rolling his eyes.

“Cas, we don’t need another blender,” Dean told him in exasperation, walking further into the room until he was standing next to where Castiel was seated. “You’ve bought three in the past month. _Three_. No one needs more than one blender, man.”

What Dean had called “elevator music” but Castiel said was “calming and lovely” was playing over the connection now, and Castiel gave a pleased hum before retorting, “I'm not intending to purchase another blender, Dean. This microwave oven can cook an entire chicken in twenty minutes. All previous microwave ovens are unsatisfying in comparison.”

“And who told you that?”  
  
“The man on the television said so, Dean. He told the woman, and she seemed very excited.”

“Cas-”

“And it cooks hamburgers, Dean. _Hamburgers_. This appliance is truly remarkable.”

Before Dean could say anything more, the music stopped and a voice on the line chirped, “ _Hello valued customer! My name is Jason and I’ll be your salesperson today_!”

This man was also very excited about selling this product. It must truly be a magnificent item. “Hello Jason. I would like to purchase-”

The phone was ripped out of his hand and he turned to find Dean had it pressed to his own ear, a decidedly pissy expression twisting his face as he said, “Yeah, sorry, Jason, but we’ve decided that he’s not interested.” He took obvious great satisfaction in pressing the END button and tossed the phone somewhere over his shoulder.

“Dean-” Castiel protested, craning his neck in an effort to see where it landed, because surely that couldn’t be good for any electronic device, but Dean quite obviously stepped closer to block his view, arms folded over his chest.

“You don’t need that damn thing, Cas,” he said with an air of finality. “I can make burgers the old fashioned way. And who the hell is going to eat an entire chicken? It’s pointless. Besides, it costs _five hundred bucks_. Too expensive.”

Castiel glared up at him, ready to protest that it was only five easy payments of only $99.99, before deciding against it and instead sighing in defeat, sinking down further in the chair and unconsciously pouting. “Fine,” he mumbled sullenly, staring down at his boring white socks. Well, Dean said they were boring, anyway. Castiel rather liked the plainness, and they kept his feet warm, which was their purpose.

The pouting was a surprise, but a pleasing one. Dean grinned. It reminded him of when Sammy had been little, sulking over a commercial for a toy they couldn’t afford or for a theme park they’d never be allowed to enjoy. So he used that as an excuse in his mind when he leaned down and brushed the dark hair from Cas’ forehead before pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his temple. “Hey, cheer up, Edward Sullen. How ‘bout I make burgers tonight, huh?”

“That’s not my name,” Castiel replied automatically, but one corner of his mouth was twitching in an effort not to smile, and he glanced up at Dean with bright eyes. “Burgers sound wonderful.”

“Alright, but you’re gonna help. No more of those bad infomercials. TV will rot your brain.”

“Dean, you spent four hours last night watching that Trek Wars-”

“Jesus, it’s _Star Trek_ , dude, _Star_. _Trek_. Never say Trek Wars again.”

“Again, Dean, that’s not my name.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://iamsiriusblackserious.tumblr.com/)


End file.
